Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
