i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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