two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
