I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
