How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
