mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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