Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
