halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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