Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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