Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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