I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I love you.
Bad choice
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
