I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
