Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
