This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
