I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
