halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
