I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Duck Duck Cougar?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
