??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm always down for nudity.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
