Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
