Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
