I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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