I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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