Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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