I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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