I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
