party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
