guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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