did you get engaged???
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
