I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
