if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
