last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
