i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
