FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
