I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
operation harelip BJ is a go
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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