Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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