can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
