About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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