no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
