You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
