The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
