never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
