that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
