You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
