I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
