Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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