My brain says no but my pants say off.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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