he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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