i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
