i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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