She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
