sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
