i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
