I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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