Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
